Corporal in the Dessert

 This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and
half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel
tied up at the back of the fort.
 He turns to the corporal: "What in God's name do you use that for?",
he asks.
 The corporal replies "Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and
then, they become, shall we say, horny...."
 "Ah, yes, yes, I understand.  Fine, move on"
 About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he'd get
up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal.
 "Bring me to the camel" says he.
 The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and
places a stool behind it.  With that, the general stands on the stool,
takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel.  He then proceeds
to give it the ride of its life.  Having finished, he puts away his
equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal.
 "Well", he says, "is that the way you men do it around here?"
 "Er...no, sir", replies the corporal, "We normally just use the camel
to ride to the nearest brothel."

Priest and Nun in a Dessert

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.
On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their
situation.  After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.
"Well sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, father."
"In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than
a day or two."
"I agree."
"Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would
you do something for me?"
"Anything father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might
see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."
The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely
breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister would you mind if I touched them?"
She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis.  Could I see yours?"
"I supposed that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh father, may I touch it?"
This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling
he was sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it
can give life."
"Is that true father?"
"Yes it is, sister."
"Then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and lets get
the hell out of here."

Non Confirming Sparrow

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon after the weather turned cold, the sparrow changed his mind and reluctantly started to fly south.

After a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on this little bird and the sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warn and happy the little sparrow began to sing.

Just then, a large Tom cat came by and hearing the chirping investigated the sounds. As Old Tom cleaned away the manure, he found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.

There are three morals to this story:

1) Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2) Everyone who gets you out of shit is not necessarily your friend.
3) If you are warm and happy, keep your mouth shut.

Good and True Friends

A good friend will come and bail you out if you are in jail. A true friend cannot, because he is sitting next to you saying "dude we are screwed!!!"

Friendship Rocks :-)